When a new client starts on a therapeutic journey, we tend to spend the first few sessions getting to know one another and building trust and rapport. These crucial sessions set the tempo for treatment as research shows that the relationship between the therapist and the client is the greatest predictor of success. As a person-centered practitioner, I agree that this connection is paramount to positive changes - but not all therapists agree!
Part of your job, as a client/patient and conscientious consumer, is to make sure that the theory and approach used by your therapist is appealing to you. You have a role in making sure that you are getting the service you want!
As a practitioner, I draw from several different schools of thought. Just like every unique individual on the planet, I am a unique therapist and my theories and perspectives will be different from any other therapist you may choose to work with. Why is this important? Because, as mentioned above, YOU are the consumer and YOU decide what type of service you invest in. Therapy IS an investment (time, money, energy) so it is important to make it count!
My therapeutic approach is based on the concept that YOU are the expert on you and your life (Person-Centered). Therefore, it is not my practice to tell you what to do or make decisions for you; my role is to help YOU come to conclusions about what best benefits you and then make healthier choices for yourself.
The other theoretical approach I utilize in treatment is Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy - the most widely used and proven mental health practice. This style is based on recognizing how thoughts impact emotions which impact behaviors (and the cycle continues on and on). Within this theory, we must identify unhelpful ways of thinking, more commonly called Thinking Errors or Cognitive Distortions. My job is to point out ways in which your thinking habits are not helpful, healthy or beneficial to your goals. After identifying these unhelpful patterns of thinking you are free to make new, healthier choices.
Lastly, I pull from some various and maybe a little ‘woo-woo’ forms of therapy. These practices are not as common but offer a great deal of insight and value to the therapeutic platform. Most of you know that I have ADHD which impacts how I live my life, see the world and do my job. I would never be satisfied with just TWO approaches to my work! I need variety and excitement. I need to continue learning, growing and seeing the world through new perspectives! This is how I began to utilize EFT tapping, mindfulness & meditation, walking therapy, yoga and tarot within my practice.
As the client and consumer, you are responsible for researching and investing in your own health, growth and recovery. If these approaches to therapy are not appealing to you or do not align with your goals or values, it is appropriate to seek support elsewhere. You would never go to the podiatrist when you have a toothache! So why would you spend your valuable time, money and energy with a therapist whose approach does not align with your goals?! I am 100% supportive if you are seeking a different approach and will even do my best to help find a suitable referral. In the big picture, you should feel like you are achieving goals and making progress. And as a therapist, I should be using all of the skills at my disposal to assist in that - if you are unwilling or unable to gain insights from my methods, please do not hesitate to discuss it in session.
There are several ways in which you may recognize that therapy is of benefit to you. As we get re-engaged in the process after a summer break, it is a great time to reflect on and monitor progress. This looks different to every unique individual but I have addressed a few topics below to help you determine if you are getting the most ‘bang for your buck’. Progress can be slow and challenging, so take a moment to think about what YOU are putting into the process in order to garner the best results:
Are you being challenged?
Therapy should make you think! Are you being exposed to new ideas and approaches? Are you being asked to step outside of your comfort zone, either through new concepts or exercises? If you are simply coming to a weekly session to download all of life's minutiae from the previous week, you are not taking advantage of the therapeutic process.
Are you uncomfortable?
Are you being asked to look at yourself in a way that makes you squirm? That is a good thing! No one can grow unless they step outside of what they already know and examine themselves, their thoughts, their beliefs with some fresh perspective. That is what a therapist does - they offer a new perspective. This is the trickiest part of the job, in my opinion, because YOU are the expert on YOU. I am merely an observer that can offer up a different viewpoint from a place of objectivity. Sometimes I can be wrong, sometimes I misinterpret. But sometimes YOU are simply resistant to hearing those perspectives. I implore you to suspend feelings of defensiveness and denial for just a brief moment in order to take in that perspective. Even the practice of listening to and processing through a comment without emotional reactivity is a step toward growth. The more you are able to practice that skill, the better off you will be in all of your relationships and interactions in the world.
Are you trying new things?
If you continue to do the same thing, you can expect to get the same result. Many people believe that simply talking about your struggles or challenges will make a difference in how you feel and I have seen firsthand that it can happen that way. But this approach to change takes a great deal of honesty, reflection and transparency. You will be required to pull back all of the layers of self-protection and feelings of denial in order for this approach to yield the results you want. It is more common for people to see results after they DO something different, not just talk about it. You have to be an active participant in the change you want to see. Traditional talk therapy can offer positive results for some but the greatest changes happen when you start to DO things in a different way.
Are you taking advantage?
Have you been open to the approaches presented to you? Do you try the exercises suggested, like journaling, meditation or yoga? Have you used tapping in session or at home? Do you read the books and articles suggested? How much time do you think about your session or commitment to therapy outside of your weekly appointment? In my experience, it is never ONE thing that leads to change - it is a combination of new practices and thinking patterns that lead to the results you seek. Make sure that you are doing all that you can outside of session and take advantage of what is offered to you in treatment.
I am thrilled to be getting back to work after a hiatus. It is my life’s work to learn and grow and to help others to do the same. I only succeed when YOU succeed and I am passionate about the journey we are on together. So, let’s get back to work with a re-commitment to health & growth!
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